And you eat with two knives?

QUOTE:
Lay back. Just relax. Now, how long have you felt this way?

[to Bored]

That your son sounds like Jimmy Cagney? Since your post.

Mind you, now you have mentioned it, it does harken back to my childhood.

Maybe I was bullied by a lad in a fedora

QUOTE:
Just this weekend, Mrs WOM barked at our daughter for leaving her cutlery crossed on an empty plate, and I said "You know that's just stupidity right? And you just gave our daughter shit for it." and she paused and said "But she clearly did it just to upset my mom" and I thought (but wisely didn't say) "Well, good for her."

How long have you been with Mrs WOM, WOM? I only ask as I have been with Mrs Bored 20 years now and we have had full crockery-throwing arguments about the wierdest stuff but never yet anything like that.

I am wondering how long I have to wait

We've been together 11 years. Married for 9. But that wasn't a knock-down, drag-out issue by any stretch. I was just pointing out a bit of insanity. That rarely leads to crockery-throwing.

What does lead to it is when I make my point (thereby scoring a point) and then continue to rant on like my mouth is hinged at the back of my head, and continue to run headlong into deep, deep 'should've shut up while I was winning' territory.

Little Jimmy Cagney talks like that because he's not yet three, so everything is 'dis and dat and wiff'. Our current favourite is "Here I'm am."

Wait...let me get my pictures out...

QUOTE:
And you eat with two knives?

I eat my peas with honey
I've done it all my life
It makes them taste quite funny
But it keeps them on the knife

Well I always understood that knives crossed on the table meant an argument to follow, unless you pulled the bottom one out first.

QUOTE:
Well I always understood that knives crossed on the table meant an argument to follow

It will if you decide to call your wife's mother a 'nutbar'.

Woo-hoo, WOM, I am doing the virtual equivalent of making up the spare bed. Do you like coffee or tea in the morning.

"nutbar" indeed. You are the man. I don't say that and my mother-in-law is a nutbar (not that I don't love her)

Mrs WOM barked at our daughter for leaving her cutlery crossed on an empty plate,

You can undo that by taking the bottom knife out from under the top one.

Or telling the good lady to cool it just a bit and tell her there are worse things to go ballistic at.

I'm thinking of walking under the first ladder I see just for the hell of it. Shit happens whether you or you don't.