OK, so it's a bit of a specialised job, but you never know...

Anyway, it looks as if my washing machine is cold fill only, and also that it has forgotten how to heat water. So when I start a cycle, it fills, and then stops, and I have to move it on manually, and then it washes, but, you know, not so well.

So I reckon that's probably terminal, or at least beyond economic repair, yeah? I mean, it's a crap old thing anyway.

a) I didn't think washing machines heated their water. I thought they just used the hot household water. Maybe UK machines are different.

b) You're only supposed to wash your clothes in cold anyway. Saves energy, etc. I guess whites are the exception.

c) I guess I'm not being very helpful...but it's been nice chatting with you.

a) What WOM said. If there isn't any hot water, it's either because your water heater isn't putting any out, or that something is blocking the hose that supplies the hot water.

b) What WOM said.

c) Could be a bad switch. Sometimes mine starts clicking around a couple of times and then finally stops where it should be. If it ever stops turning itself, I'll have to do it manually, I guess. Although having said that, I think turning it myself is what f*cked it up. So you might not want to listen to my advice.

My dryer still doesn't work, but I'm finding that I can do the washing faster if I hang the clothes to dry. As a result, I'm in no hurry to get someone out to repair it.

Good luck.

Haha, thanks WOM.

Machines here are either "cold fill only" or "hot and cold fill". I'm assuming mine is "cold fill only", though I could look it up to be sure.

the switch seems fine except at the point where it would be heating water, when it doesn't move.

Washing machines last longer with calgon.

Damn, that's so true, if only I'd remembered that two years ago.

My three step plan to fixing your washing machine:

1. Turn it on off and on again.
2. Open the door and blow in it.
3. Hit it with a shoe.

I do a lot of DIY stuff, so I can loan you a shoe if need be.

Given you extensive collection of Trainers EIM, can you narrow it down to make or even colour?

I wouldn't use one of my shoes, Villain.

But past experience tells me a bass weejun penny loafer is the best shoe for a task like this.

You'll need to replace the penny with a quarter if it's a coin-op machine.

If you decide to go the DIY route, here are my steps for repairing a washing machine:

1. Sigh and say, "What now?"
2. Place your hands on your hips and twist your mouth while staring at the machine, as though attempting to psychically will it to miraculously repair itself while simultaneously Attempting to troubleshoot the problem in your head. Always start with the most obvious, and when that doesn't help, proceed to step 3.
3. Feel depressed and wonder why these things always have to happen to you. Cry if you feel like it.
4. Call someone else (I use my dad for this) and ask them what they would do.
5. Remove the cover and stare at the inner workings for a while. Unplug it and start randomly touching things to see if anything is loose. It won't be, but this will empower you and bolster your self-esteem.
6. Decide that whatever is wrong is beyond your DIY capabilities and call a repairer person who will charge you silly money to replace a single bolt that has worked itself loose and is causing all the problems. You didn't see it when you were poking around in there because it had fallen to the bottom of the machine. You didn't know there should have been a bolt in that hole because you're not a professional washing machine repairer.

This process shouldn't take more than a week. In the meantime, drop off your dirty laundry to the wash and fold service on your way to work.

QUOTE:

1. Turn it on off and on again.
2. Open the door and blow in it.
3. Hit it with a shoe.

That's exactly how I fixed my DVD player last week, except I used my fist rather than a shoe (because it's a DVD player and not a washing machine, obviously).

It works for most mechanical things. I learned it from my Dad.

This is the most useful advice thread I have ever started. Ta.

Now to find a shoe...

Our washing machine only starts when you click it one stop past the number that's supposed to start a certain cycle, and then strike it with a glancing blow with the heel of your hand. Otherwise it just stares at you, like it's saying, "What?"