So today's my last day at work. Almost three years spent in this grindingly dull job where nothing works, accompanied by gindingly dull people, in austere surroundings. Finally, there's light at the end of what seemed an endless, grey tunnel.

What should I do with my remaining six hours at work?

Can we start calling you by your name again?

You can call me anything you like.

Not me wrote:

QUOTE:
So today's my last day at work. Almost three years spent in this grindingly dull job where nothing works, accompanied by gindingly dull people, in austere surroundings. Finally, there's light at the end of what seemed an endless, grey tunnel.

What should I do with my remaining six hours at work?

I've heard of people modifying (and then password-protecting) their employer's automated mail 'templates', so that instead of "yours sincerely" or whatever, they would say "up yer arse" and the like.

On a less extreme note, on my last day in my previous job, I took the roller-ball from a colleague's mouse (old technology now, of course) and replaced it with one made of blu-tac, so that even the weight felt correct. Quite perturbed him, I understand!

Everyone else will be much better at dastardly deeds than I am, I'm sure - my brain is too dead for such creativity, I think.

What are you moving on to, by the way?

Oh, and congratulations, of course!

I'd sit, with a book, and a huge milkshake, and just read and sup for the rest of the day. Read. And. Sup.

If I liked milkshake I would.

I'm moving on to unemployment, Clive, but in a good way (I've saved up enough money to tide me over for a few months while I look for another job).

Not me wrote:

QUOTE:
So today's my last day at work. Almost three years spent in this grindingly dull job where nothing works, accompanied by gindingly dull people, in austere surroundings. Finally, there's light at the end of what seemed an endless, grey tunnel.

What should I do with my remaining six hours at work?

I'm thinking you should webskive.

(And maybe change your name to 'L** L*******, YES IT'S ME' for the rest of the day.)

His real name is Lou Llanelli? Excellent.

When me and m'lovely wife had our exotic couple of nights away last month, we discovered a cafe in Liverpool's cosmopolitan quarter (or eighth, to reflect more accurately its prominence) that served milkshakes into which they would blend, upon your instruction, one of a multitude of confectionaries stored behind the counter - Twixes, Creme Eggs, Oreos (whatever they are) and the like. Ooh, we cooed, how sophisiticated, and sat out on the cafe's verandah cherishing our drinks like they were the very ambrosia of the gods.

Then we got back to Lancaster and saw that Diggles has started doing eexactly the same thing.

There's a great place in Greenwich that does it. And I promise *on my life* that they do it better than Diggles do.

Right, I've read the internet now. What next?

Make your username a bit snappier?

(Stupid word limit on names!

MY BOSS, HE HAS THE IMAGINATION OF A GNAT!)

Want to come and do my job for a few hours so I can go and have a snooze?

No frigging way. I don't speak mutant, so I wouldn't understand anything your colleagues asked me to do.