Obviously, I'm not, but this site is

My favourite so far is:

QUOTE:
When somebody is talking to me I type the words that they're saying out by clicking my teeth. I click the left side for letters that you would type with your left hand, the right side for letters you would type with your right hand, and I close my teeth together in the middle for the space bar.

What's your favourite? Or do you have one of your own to add?

Yes you are.

Ha! That is RICH coming from YOU!

(Yeah, I know)

QUOTE:
I can’t stand other people touching me. At all. If anyone so much as accidentally brushes up against me, I immediately rub the part of my body they have touched until I feel like all traces of this person are gone.

I don't see the problem with that.

There's a fair few in there that made me think of you, FF.

As well as loads that made me think of me, of course.

I could spend all day reading those. It's comforting to know that I'm not the most neurotic person on the planet.

This, for instance, is just insane:

QUOTE:
I take my right contact lens out first, and after putting it in its case, I hold my thumb over it and repeat “forget my secrets” three times. I repeat the process for the left lens. When it’s time for a new pair, I have to cut the old pair into tiny pieces, just in case they haven’t forgotten everything they helped me see.

I mean, obviously this person should use the daily disposables, which you can cause to disintegrate simply by rubbing between your thumb and forefinger. They can't remember anything if they don't exist.

Femme Folle wrote:

QUOTE:

QUOTE:
I can’t stand other people touching me. At all. If anyone so much as accidentally brushes up against me, I immediately rub the part of my body they have touched until I feel like all traces of this person are gone.

I don't see the problem with that.

I'm like that, actually. I mean there are a few people - (ex-)girlfriends, mostly - that I don't mind touching me. However, when I get 'touchy-feely' people - particularly bosses - grabbing my arms or legs (if we're seated) seemingly as punctuation to their speech, it just makes my hackles rise no end. I tend to let people know early on, though, so they don't keep it up until I'm forced into some kind of exclamation.

Really, though, i just don't know how people think they've automatically got permission to grab parts of you. I dunno - maybe I'm actually Canadian?

There are people who are allowed to touch me any time they want to, but if a stranger touches me, as happens often on the bus, it really sends me into a state of (I don't know what to call it), but I can't seem to think of anything but the fact that their leg is touching my leg, or their arm is touching my arm. Legs are worse than arms though, definitely. Men (of any size) and women with big bottoms are the worst, especially when they don't see the problem and make no effort to not touch me. Sometimes it feels as though they are half sitting on me. If I move over to stop them from touching me, they see this as me giving them more room to spread out. There are only been two times that I have actually said anything to the person. It's difficult to not come across as a complete loon when it gets to that point.

STOP TOUCHING ME!!

Especially for you, clive:

QUOTE:
Every day, I have to touch someone I do not know, like a quick pat on the shoulder or a tap on the back. I try not to make it obvious, like I act like I accidentally bump into someone in the mall. I have no idea why I do this at all. I cannot stay home all day because I have to find someone to touch. Some days I get in my car telling myself I want fast food but actually just have the urge to lightly tap a stranger…

Wow, never looked at it from the other side.

Stranger-tapping: the silent menace threatening the nation!

I demand a full public enquiry into this stranger-tapping scandal.

Really, though, i just don't know how people think they've automatically got permission to grab parts of you. I dunno - maybe I'm actually Canadian?

Waddya mean? You've watched a hockey game before, right? We grab each others parts all the time. This is a land where Prime Ministers grab demonstrators (affectionately) round the throat.



Where a federal party-leader might also chummily grasp a handful of a female colleague's rump. In fact, on balance, I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a nation of greater parts-grabbers than this one.

Not liking people touching you without your say-so isn't that uncommon, I'd have thought.

Some people do suffer from it worse than others though: I used to work with a guy who, if you passed him in the corridor, would shift right up against the wall to ensure that you didn't accidentally bump into him.

Amor de Cosmos wrote:

QUOTE:
Really, though, i just don't know how people think they've automatically got permission to grab parts of you. I dunno - maybe I'm actually Canadian?

Waddya mean? You've watched a hockey game before, right? We grab each others parts all the time. This is a land where Prime Ministers grab demonstrators (affectionately) round the throat.



Where a federal party-leader might also chummily grasp a handful of a female colleague's rump. In fact, on balance, I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a nation of greater parts-grabbers than this one.

Ah!

I'd been given to believe that Canadians were shy, retiring creatures for whom being in the same province as someone else was 'too darn close'. It's Dilbert's fault.

I'm also just fishing for one of these, of course - the honorary Canadian's badge:

Heh! (Why are there small 'T's hidden in the wheat?)

No offence taken. I was really just looking for an excuse to post that hilarious John Turner newsclip.

QUOTE:
I dunno - maybe I'm actually Canadian?

You're walking in Toronto/IKEA/Miami Beach and see someone you know from school/work/your family walking toward you.

Do you:

a) Duck into a shop/display/stand of Palm trees

b) Cross to the far side of the road/aisle/ocean

c) Turn and head back the way you came, abandoning your excursion altogether

d) Say hello and strike up a conversation