Yes. He's now the head coach of the Skins.

It happened like this:

Joe Gibbs quits. Much wailing and nashing of teeth even though his second go-round wasn't very successful.

The Skins round up the usual suspects for interviews. It looked for a while that it would be current (now former) d-coordinator Gregg Williams, but I guess Snyder and his right-hand man Vinny Cerato (who is not the GM, mind you, just VP of Football Operations and overpaying useless players) didn't really like his big ego too much, so after letting it dangle a few weeks, they let him go.

At somepoint during this circus, I think it was after Williams was out and before Fassel was ruled out, Snyder decides he's going to hire offensive and defensive coordinators even though he doesn't have a head coach. I can't recall who he got as d-coordinator, but for O-coordinator he got Zorn.

Zorn has been pretty good as the QB coach in Seattle so its a pretty reasonable gamble that he'll be a good OC, but why the FUCK do you hire coordinators before you have a coach? No self-respecting head coach is going to tolerate having the owner pick his top assistants for him.

I guess Snyder was doing what he always does when he's stuck - immitate Jerry Jones. Jerry Jones hired Jason Garret as OC last year even before he got Wade Phillips to be the head coach. I thought at the time that Wade Phillips was a shockingly unimaginative retread choice, but the Cowboys did alright this year so I guess Danny thought it's a brillant strategy.

Then it looked like it was going to be former Giants coach Jim Fassel. But the fans didn't seem to respond well to that idea and Fassel didn't seem too stoked, so they let him go.

More weeks passed. More interviews. They talked to one of the top New England assistants and a few other guys. None of them wanted the job.

So a few weeks drag on. The Skins have coordinators but no coach and the players are pissed because they wanted Gregg Williams. At this point I realized Jim Zorn was their only option since, as I said, no coach is going to want to come in with the coordinators already picked so they're going to have to go with somebody they already have. Given the overall situation with the skins and the development of QB Jason Campbell, it made more sense to elevate putative Offensive Coordinator to HC than the defensive coordinator.

More time passes and the Skins announce Zorn is their guy and that he was the only candidate they ever offered the job to (right.)

This may work out, in fact I think Jim Zorn might be a good coach, but if it works out it will be totally by accident. The whole search and selection process was a total clusterfuck from day one.

Also, they elevated Cerrato to Senior something or other, so he's now as close to being the GM as possible without actually being GM. Why Snyder won't hire a real GM is beyond anyone's understanding. Why he continues to believe, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that Cerrato has done a good job with the salary cap and player personel decisions that he has made this far is even harder to comprehend.

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Something like that, although disdain for drunken loutishness is not "elitism." It is a shame, however.

I was more referring to your description of them as "usually stupid and talk funny." Further, Philadelphia fans haven't exactly cornered the market on "drunken loutishness". I don't know if you've ever gone to Fenway, Shea Stadium, or MSG for a Rangers game, but I'm not sure if I'd refer to certain segments of the fan base as "sober sophisticates." The difference is that many of the bad apples Philly fans who make it to games in DC, are actually the same drunken louts from Philadelphia, but the proximity to DC makes it possible for them to make the trip. This is also why you get idiot New York fans in Philly for games, but less so in DC.

I don't think you can blame the behavior of Philly fans on the DC transplants, because they are culled from almost the exact same populations that make up DC sports fans that attend games.

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I was more referring to your description of them as "usually stupid and talk funny." Further, Philadelphia fans haven't exactly cornered the market on "drunken loutishness". I don't know if you've ever gone to Fenway, Shea Stadium, or MSG for a Rangers game, but I'm not sure if I'd refer to certain segments of the fan base as "sober sophisticates."

"Talk funny" would be an elitist comment, yes, although the stupidity is often plain to see.

I find other East Coast fans obnoxious too, but like you said, we don't see as much of them. I imagine Giants douchebaggery will be in ascendance now. The last time I saw a Giants-Redskins game, the Giants didn't have much to crow about.

(I've never been to Shea, I went to MSG for a Knicks-Sixers game in 1990 and have been to Fenway once).

Like I said, Mets fans at Nats games are pretty annoying although they seem a little humbled by their string of non-championships, late season collapses and horrible black uniforms.

Red Sox fans have become more obnoxious as their confidence grows, which is sad because I count many Red Sox fans among my good friends. They were better before they won, like Cubs fans are now. God help us when they win.

I think the worst all around might be Braves fans. The tomahawk chop just puts them right over the top in any fan cuntishness table followed nearly by Cowboys fans who aren't from Texas.

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I don't think you can blame the behavior of Philly fans on the DC transplants, because they are culled from almost the exact same populations that make up DC sports fans that attend games.

That's probably true in general but I can cite a few anecdotal cases of transplated Philly fans living in DC who exemplify the sort of pathetic, liquid-courage-fueled obnoxious behavior.

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That's probably true in general but I can cite a few anecdotal cases of transplated Philly fans living in DC who exemplify the sort of pathetic, liquid-courage-fueled obnoxious behavior.

I'm sure that's right, and I can cite several anecdotal cases of native born DCers who display the exact same type of behavior (with respect to the Skins and Maryland Terps, prior to six months ago, I didn't know many passionate, native-born Caps or Wizards fans). In fact, there is one sports bar in Bethesda where I went to watch an Eagles/Skins game (without a jersey) two years ago, and was threatened with an ass kicking after I clapped following a Skins' turnover. There are knuckleheads everywhere.

To put a finer point on it, I think that a segment of sports fans (at least in the Bos-Was corridor) can be assholes when supporting their teams. In general, the number of assholes/degree of obnoxious behavior are directly proportional to the success of their franchise. This is almost exactly the opposite with Philly fans, where the assholes tend to be much worse when the teams aren't winning. This goes back to my point from last week, that much of the ridiculous behavior of Philadelphia sports stems from resentment rather than pride. (NOTE: "winning" in Philly means being better than mediocre, not actually winning championships, b/c very few living Philly fans know what that's like.)

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I'm sure that's right, and I can cite several anecdotal cases of native born DCers who display the exact same type of behavior (with respect to the Skins and Maryland Terps)

Its getting worse with the Skins, I think - at the games anyway. Like I said, the older people who used to go in the RFK era aren't coming out as much any more and a lot of them are being replaced by assholes. Indeed, I think the younger generation of sports fans has more assholes then ever before. I've noticed it at Penn State games and college fans across the country report a steady surge in douchebaggery over the last 15-20 years. Kids today, eh?

The Terps seem to draw a particularly low class of fan - no offense Soccer Scrimmage. What with the "Fuck Duke" shirts and what not. I mean, I can understand hating Duke, but they ought to come up with something more original than that.

I didn't know many passionate, native-born Caps or Wizards fans.

I don't know any passionate Wizards fans. It's like this city has a whole lost generation when it comes to the NBA. The Caps have always had, at least, a hardcore cult following. But I can recall that the Bullets always used to market temselves based on the opposing team. Also, as I understand it, Abe Pollin and certainly Wes Unseld don't understand how to win championships. They'd always try to put out a "decent" competitive team, instead of letting the team suck, get really good lottery picks and then rise to greatness.

And unlike the Caps, the Wizards have to compete for basketball fans attention with college and high school ball. The Caps are really the only option for hockey fans here (unlike Boston or Minnesota, for example).

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In fact, there is one sports bar in Bethesda where I went to watch an Eagles/Skins game (without a jersey) two years ago, and was threatened with an ass kicking after I clapped following a Skins' turnover. There are knuckleheads everywhere.

That's shocking. In Bethesda? In Bethesda I'd expect you to get a stern talking to by an old woman for making noise in a public place on a Sunday. Maybe there's a rough end of Bethesda that I haven't found yet.

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In general, the number of assholes/degree of obnoxious behavior are directly proportional to the success of their franchise.

That's true, although I'd say there's a special "edge," for lack of a better word, to the assholeness of fans of teams that are pretty good, but not winning titles. Like pre-2004 Red Sox fans or Terrel Owens-era Eagles fans or Mets fans almost always. There's a certain combination of slight inferiority complex contrasted with a desire to lord it over lesser teams' fans seasoned with just a tough of desperation and anxiety that is unique to fans in that so-close-yet-so-far status.

One final note about Philly. One team that they really support well is the Wings of the NLL (indoor lacrosse). I went to the Spectrum for a game once. It's a good atmosphere.

Its remarkable because the Wings are a holdover from a different era in the NLL. The Wings are the sole continuous going concern of the old MILL teams that I followed when I ws into it back in high school. Back when it was the MILL, they tried to build franchises in places where there was interest in college outdoor lacrosse and get players who played around there - Baltimore, Long Island, Washington, Philly. And then they just tried putting it in places that had a hockey rink - Pittsburgh, Detroit, etc.

But neither strategy really worked. Interest in college lacrosse didn't really translate - teams in Baltimore, Washington and Nassau County ended up moving. Over time there have been a lot of franchise moves and some coming and going and the league has done best in places where indoor lacrosse has grass roots (Buffalo, Toronto, Edmonton, Calgary, Rochester) and the players are almost all Canadian.

But the Wings have always survived. The explanation is that its because they were a winner - many league titles - and Philly was starving for that.

I agree with pretty much everything in your post. The Bethesda sports bar thing was very weird, and quite surprising to me, but I think dovetails into your point about the general rise of douchebaggery. I'm not sure if it's worse now than it was when I was a kid (though it's surely worse than the old days when fans showed up in sports jackets and hats), but overconsumption of alcohol combined with sports can be a bit of an explosive combination.

General sports-related douchebaggery (obnoxious chants, etc.) doesn't bother me much so long as it doesn't lead to violence.

There's a real problem in this country with the quality of chants. It's always "XXXX Sucks!" We can put a man on the moon, but we can't do better than that?

It really is embarrassing. It would be excellent if the major US sports were capable of generating supporters groups capable of coordinating for chants, etc. I don't know why we haven't.

It's better at the college and high school level where they have, you know, actual cheerleaders and a band who come up with songs and cheers.

The NFL has people called cheerleaders, but they don't interact with the crowd. A few NFL teams have bands but they don't play during the game. They just play shit pop music. That's infected college sports too, somewhat.

That's true, and at many hockey/bball arenas, nearly every moment has some musical score/scoreboard-generated chant. There's very little room for fan-generated chanting.

Gyuri, do bare in mind that if you have fans that are the kind that does not need a cue to sing and support their team, you do have associated violence, one does not go without the other. Young men full of testosterone and booze that get all wild behind the goal to cheer their team on tend to be slightly quicker to react if someone from the other end talk or act like a douchebag, to use a word much favoured by Reed!

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Gyuri, do bare in mind that if you have fans that are the kind that does not need a cue to sing and support their team, you do have associated violence, one does not go without the other.

Is this really true? I'd think there'd be a line somewhere between willingness to chant/sing in an organized fashion and willingness to mix it up physically with the opposition. I mean, the a capella singing groups at university in the US seem to have no problem getting together some ostensibly clever songs, and they rarely pose a threat of violence, though they may be a deserved target. (ok, that last bit was meant to be some kind of joke, but do you really think you can't have an organized, nonviolent fanbase?)

Even if you can't separate "douchebaggery" from organized chanting, since we seem to have a reasonable level of bad behavior at sporting events here (though, as I understand it, somewhat less than at certain grounds in Europe), at least we should get some creative chants to make the medicine go down better.

I noticed that the new Seattle Sounders FC are holding auditions for a Sounders Marching Band. That's awesome.


The Caps have a fan - as far as I know he's paying to be there - who can get the whole crowd going with the "Let's Go Caps" just with the power of his will and his booming voice. It's a dull cheer, but at least it's crowd-generated.

I don't really care for crowd chanting or singing. I prefer to sit back, shake my head and mutter to myself until I just can't stand it anymore and have to scream "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT" or "C'MON [fill in the blank], GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS." But that's just me.

I find those spontaneous bits unbridled emotion to be the most interesting. One of my favorites was about five years ago at a Minnesota Wild - Vancouver Canucks game in St. Paul. As usual, the Wild fans were into it early on, but the Wild played what was, by far, the worst game of hockey I'd ever witnessed at any level. It was 5-0 in the third period and that score flattered Minnesota. Few of the fans had left (except people in the club level had moved to the bar to watch the Vikings-Bears) but almost everyone was silent. Then the Wild were on a powerplay and somebody failed to complete a simple pass and it drifted out of the zone all the way back to the goalie. From somewhere in the arena came the frustrated voice of a lone man - "AAHHHHH PLAY THE GAME!!!"

Minor league and college baseball is a good place to hear this sort of thing.