You know how numerous emo bands have a fondness for those long songtitles that are a sentence that one might actually say out loud, eg My Chemical Romance ("Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough For The Both Of Us", "You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison", "It's Not A Fashion Statement, It's A Deathwish", "I Never Told You What I Do For A Living"), Fall Out Boy ("Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued", "I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth", "I Slept with Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me") and Panic! At The Disco ("There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet", "Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off", "The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage")?

Well, just as Prince invented txt spk ahead of time, it just occurred to me that I'd identified the artist who pioneered emo-style songtitles. I announced it to Mrs Rhino, and she immediately said "Pet Shop Boys"?

And she has a point: "You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk", "I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind Of Thing" etc.

But that's not who I meant. I meant Meat Loaf: "Objects In The Rear View Mirror May Appear Closer Than They Are", "I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)", etc.

Actually, another one's just occurred to me. The Wedding Present: You Should Always Keep In Touch With Your Friends", "Why Are You Being So Reasonable Now?", "Nobody's Twisting Your Arm", "What Did Your Last Servant Die Of?"

I think the spiritual godfather of long song titles is hairy hippie Shawn Phillips, who on his Second Contribution LP in 1970 came up with "She Was Waiting For Her Mother At The Station in Torino and You Know I Love You Baby But It's Getting Too Heavy To Laugh (WOMAN)". I wish it was an instrumental.

Nah. Country music is where it's at for long, self-explanatory song titles.

Off the top of my head, there's the Hank Wangford Band's "Never Wear Mascara When You Love A Married Man".

The problem is that there's alot of fake titles out there, just invented for the humour value and even when a title is real, there'll be versions by about ten different artists, so it's difficult (for the non-country-obssessive) to know whose was the first.

I thought this was going to be about DJ Premier.

Spearmint Rhinao, Spearmint Rhino, missed out "This Town Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us"?

Colour me outraged.

And of course another country one is:

If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me.

Insanity Comes Quietly to the Structured Mind: Janis Ian – 1967

Meat Loaf also has songs called "I'll Kill You If You Don't Come Back" and "I'm Going to Love Her for Both of Us" - although it would be more accurate to say Jim Steinman's songs, rather than Meat Loaf's, are prone to this kind of thing.

Not that I'm suggesting they influenced emo, but Scottish indie band ballboy are great for this. Some of their songs include:

I wonder if you are drunk enough to sleep with me tonight
You can't spend your whole life hanging around with arseholes
I lost you but I found country music
I don't have time to stand here with you fighting about the size of my dick
There are only inches between us, but there might as well be mountains and trees
Where do the nights of sleep go to when they do not come to me
I've got pictures of you in your underwear
Leave the earth behind you and take a walk in the sunshine
Donald in the bushes with a bag of glue
They'll hang flags from cranes upon my wedding day

Soul was fairly big on this, too:

(I Want) Love And Affection (Not The House Of Correction)
It's A New Day So Let A Man Come In And Do The Popcorn

etc.

I also thought this thread was going to be about DJ Premier.

The Locust are good for this:

'The Half-Eaten Sausage Would Like To See You In His Office Now'
'Priest With A Sexually Transmitted Disease - Get Out Of My Bed'

And Daughters!:

'A Room Full Of Hard Ons And Nowhere To Sit Down'
'I Had Sex With The Daughters! And All I Got Was This Lousy Song Written About Me'

QUOTE:
"I Slept with Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me"

QUOTE:
'I Had Sex With The Daughters! And All I Got Was This Lousy Song Written About Me'

So who ripped off who, then?

Arthur Lee used to do this a lot, 'The Good Humor Man He Sees Everything Like This', 'Maybe the People Could Be The Times Or Between Clark and Hilldale', 'Love is More Than Words Or Better Late Than Never', 'A House is Not A Motel' and that.

Although they aren't really sentences you'd actually say unless you were a bit weird, or perhaps some kind of idiot savant.

Barry White wasn't one to for snazzy song titles either:

It's Ecstasy When You Lay Down Next To Me
You're The First, The Last, My Everything
I'm Gonna Love You Just A Little More Baby
Baby We Better Try To Get It Together
I'll Do For You Anything You Want Me To
It May Be Winter Outside (But In My Heart It's Spring)
Walking In The Rain (With The One I Love)

Our very own Spearmint Rhino has an excellent story related to your list above Gunther . . .

Shush.