1. Do a "strand test" or "allergy test" 24 hours before using hair dye.

Oh, fuck off. Who has time for that? If, after decades of non-consensually torturing bunny rabbits, you're still not sure that your product isn't going to bring me out in leprotic lesions, it shouldn't be on the shelves in the first place.

2. "Preheat the oven"

Nah, I'll just whack an extra couple of minutes on the timer, it'll be fine.