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I rolled in from the local bar tonight and sat down to do a bit of zapping. Just starting was 'The Golden Child', 'starring' Eddie Murphy. So I began watching, and as I'd feared, it was painfully inept - the only saving grace perhaps the little boy of the title, who had a certain calm grace.

I did a scriptwriting course once where the teacher said that we should watch everything, good and bad, the latter to see how it's not done. I stoutly followed her advice this time, but there came a point, about an hour in and possibly coinciding with yet another of those trademark Murphy chortles that he and his directors think so endearing, when I could stand it no more.

Suffice it to say that cleaning the cat-boxes suddenly became a much more attractive proposition.