QUOTE:
in case of emergency
1. Is there an emergency?
a. Yes!
- Quick! Break glass in case of emergency.
- Oh no, now I'm all cut and bleeding on this broken glass!
- Sounds like an emergency! Quick, break more glass.
- Okay, I broke the glass! Now what?
- Oh no, what'd you do that for! You needed that glass for the emergency!
- Oh, what do I do now!
- Quick, glue your glass back together while there's still time! Then break it. Hurry, it's an emergency!
b. Why no, everything's fine.
- Are you sure?
- Well... not that sure...
- Just to be on the safe side, better panic. In case there's an emergency!
- Sure I'm sure! Just checked this morning. No emergencies here!
- Are you sure you're sure you're sure? 'Cause those emergencies, they're pretty tricky.
- Yep! We got the emergency alarm and the emergency detector and all the emergency traps and there isn't a single little emergency.
- Well now that's pretty suspicious. 'Cause if I were an emergency I'd go around disguising myself as a complete lack of emergencies.
- Ohmigod - that's what I've got right now! What do I do!
- First, get some glass. And quick! It's an emergency!

2. What's the emergency?
a. Bees
b. Angry bees
c. Giant killer angry bees
d. Fire!
- Started by bees?
- Yes! Those are some crafty, crafty bees.
- Yes! I didn't think so at first but the more I look at the evidence the more convincing this bee theory sounds.
- I want to say no but there's just no way you can rule out bees!
e. Other
- Probably bees

3. Emergency Bee Response Action Plan (EBRAP)
a. Negotiated settlement
- Too soft
- Appeasing the bees will only embolden future bees
b. Retaliatory air strike against the bee homeland
- Too risky
- Ensuing drop in global honey production would alienate key allies like the Hundred Acre Woods and Candyland
- Further violence only perpetuates the cycle of mistrust and misunderstanding between man and bee
c. Ritual hand-to-hand combat with bee champion
- Too difficult
- You have the weight advantage but the bee wants it more
- Biased bee referees will always rule in favor of the bee
d. Escape
- Recommended!
- You will need:
- Feet (two)
- Bee costume (for camouflage)
- Secret map of the Bee Kingdom (with marked escape routes)
- Hidden cyanide capsule (better to die on your feet than to live with the bees)
- Escape Plan
- First, Create A Distraction
- What kind of distraction?
- You know, anything likely to get a bee's attention - loud noises, fire, spraying lots of bee spray
- Oh no, now I'm being stung by lots of bees!
- Oh, how did that happen! Quick, go back to Step One. It sounds like an emergency!