Has anyone else experienced the near hysteria from parents & in-laws about producing grandchildren?

At a recent wedding, my mother suddenly hove into view brandishing a baby, with a look that communicated the quite clear opinion that I should be siring descendants forwith (perhaps not right there on the table, though). Then, a couple of weeks later at my wife's uncle's 60th, her mother does exactly the same thing. And then the other weekend, when we were casually discussing about a possible bathroom renovation at our house, I mentioned having a shower on a flexible hose (ours is a fixed head) to help in bathing any kids that may come along. My father's face lit up like a Christmas tree and you could almost see him struggling not to order me to go and get on with it.

It's like their entire existence is now reduced to waiting for grandchildren to spil rotten and in the meantime, they will fawn over anyone else's baby in an extremely pointed manner.

It's what you're here for so get on with it man. Can't you see how big a disappointment you are to your parents that you can't even get a girl knocked-up?

My girlfriend gets this from her mother and grandmother all the time. It's gotten to the stage that they're offering significant bribery to help with the cost of marriage and childcare.

Last Christmas my mother was saying something about children and my father said "We agreed not to bring that up!" It appears that they've gleefully broken the terms of their SALT and are now strapping on the warheads.

My mother expressly forbade my sisters and I to sire progeny until she reached at least 60 as any younger was too young to be someone's Nan.
My older sister is 43 and single, my younger sister just left her husband and at a recent function where there were a large number of young children, P leaned over to me and whispered "let's never have children") so it could be a while if ever that she becomes a granny.

Eggchaser, once you've had children for a little while you'll understand your parents' point of view (it's because you grew up too fast).

I don't suppose I'd mind too much having a kid. But then I wouldn't mind having a dog.
Thing is, children would ruin my lifestyle and I can't be arsed to walk a dog.

Thing is, children would ruin my lifestyle and I can't be arsed to walk a dog.

I know this thread probably wasn't intended to be an earnest discussion of the matter but I shall bite. I think possibly the biggest social divide is between those who have kids and those who don't. The issues facing either side seem (with much justification) basically irrelevant to the other. (Though of course, only one side knows what it's like to be with and without.) Suffice to say if you had children, your current lifestyle would no longer seem very relevant to you. There wouldn't be much time, and probably not much inclination, to consider whether it had been 'ruined'; it would just no longer apply, you'd be reprioritized and focused on a lot else that there was no reason to focus on before but every reason to focus on now. I can remember not being a parent, I can remember not really wanting to be a parent, but I don't spend any time at all dwelling on it nor wishing for a return to the old ways. That, and you should have a kid, it's highly worth it. (and of course, you'd be a billion times more motivated about him/her than any dog)

It just seems like a lot of effort.
A lot of reward too, but I've never been much one for wanting to work really hard to earn rewards. I'd rather do without.

Well, I would say parenting is nothing like working to earn a reward. Quite a bit more organic than that. Becoming a parent is relatively painless of course (for the man!) and being one is not at all a straightforward exchange of effort for reward. I'm far from the least lazy person on earth, but much of the effort involved is the kind you absolutely can't shirk or short-change unless you want to end up in prison or Jerry Springer. Really no choice in the matter and it becomes second nature. Difficult yes, worth it every bit and more.

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possibly the biggest social divide is between those who have kids and those who don't ... Suffice to say if you had children, your current lifestyle would no longer seem very relevant to you.

three of my friends had their first kids in april/may and since then i have seen one of them, once. they have melted away. i suppose the people who don't have kids eventually are forced to have them out of sheer loneliness.

Blame Darwin and Dawkins, something about selfish genes.

Bear in mind that it is a good idea to have kids while you're still able to lift them though.

Yeah, that's pretty much everyone's experience I think. It's a huge change and there's nothing for it, especially for the first few years if you're not well off enough to afford a nanny. Fear of crossing over is completely understandable. But you rarely meet people who want to cross back.

loose cannon wrote:

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Blame Darwin and Dawkins, something about selfish genes.

Except that it's about the least selfish thing you can do on a practical, daily basis.

Yeah - kids are like temporal black holes that suck up all the spare time you ever had

I dunno, I still manage to do my own thing well enough. I mainly just can't 'go out' as much as I used to.