I'm currently dipping into Will Self's Junk Mail (a collection of his early-ish journalism), and I've been struck by his use of arcane vocabulary.

Now, one man's arcane vocab is another man's pub--talk, and I definitely don't want to give the impression that I want my writers to communicate solely in monosyllables. One thing I loved about the writings of Simon Reynolds and our own Wingco in the late 80s Melody Maker was the way it made you stretch yourself: they were using words and concepts which were just out of reach, but in such a way that you made the effort to grasp them and familiaries yourself with them. (Indeed, I still find myself reaching for my dictionary during Hartley Sebag-Ffiennes' Arsenal match reports...) However, there seems to be a difference in intention with Will Self.

I've just read a piece he wrote for the Modern Review about The Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy's album with William Burroughs, Spare-Ass Annie. In the space of one page, he's used the words 'pabulum', 'declivity' and 'moue', two of which I don't understand and the third a borrowed French word with whose English usage I'm unfamiliar. In the context of a piece which is just dripping with arch contempt for 'low' culture such as hip-hop, and to only a slightly lesser extent the Beat prose of Burroughs, the use of that kind of language seems to carry a meaning secondary to the literal definition of the words themselves: it's saying "I went to an Eton Group school and Oxford and you, my intellectual gerbil of a reader, did not."

Again, I don't want to give the impression that I am against a florid turn of phrase. In fact, it's the thing which attracted me to Self in the first place (and made me shell out for tickets to see him speak in Hove at the end of the month).

It's just that in this context it depressed me. Whether accidentally or intentionally, it reinforces the suspicion that while Self may like to present himself as a transgressive druggy bohemian, he actually shares exactly the same rigid mental hierarchy between High Culture and Low Culture as the establishment which raised him.

Or am I reading too much into it?

Hmmm. I'm not sure. I didn't understand a word of it.

I've got a vague memory of writing something similar (though not about Will Self) on the old board, so clearly it's something which gets on my wick more than it should.

I had to read a Will Self book for one of my numerous uni courses. I found it difficult to read and more than a little gratuitous. I can't be arsed flicking through a dictionary every page or so, but then maybe Self isn't writing his books for people like me. Which is fair enough, I can do without being patronised by what may as well by a text book.

I like the challenge, in the case of the three words mentionned in the subject, I haven't got a clue about the first one but the second one I'm familiar with and the third one is indeed french and I'm pretty sure it is used in the same way as in French. As for Will Self reasons to use a florid vocabulary, I'd say it's part genuine love of words, part to dazzle his readership, there is an element of showmanship at play but I'm not entirely sure it's there to draw a line between him and the low-brow masses.

Pabulum is Latin and is indeed the source of the better known word Pablum, which was originally a trade name.

In addition to being foreign/archaic, it also can mean a number of rather different things in English, two of which are pretty much opposites (see 2&3 below). There have to be better words available to convey his message.

From Merriam Webster:

"Main Entry: pab·u·lum
Pronunciation: \ˈpa-byə-ləm\
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin, food, fodder; akin to Latin pascere to feed — more at food
Date: 1733
1: food; especially : a suspension or solution of nutrients in a state suitable for absorption
2: intellectual sustenance
3: something (as writing or speech) that is insipid, simplistic, or bland"

I've read loads of his stuff, and I think the only problem here is: Will Self is completely clueless about pop music and pop culture. If he'd used plainer English to get it wrong, it would still wind you up; this his just him bluffing around the fact that he's hopelessly out of his element. He actually used the word "trindie" (his contraction of "trance" and "indie") to describe Hot Chip on Late Review, and claimed you had to be on drugs in a club to enjoy what's actually a fairly sophisticated, completely un-danceable, self-interrogating pop record for grown-ups.

I really enjoy his antediluvian lexicon on the whole, mostly cause I get to learn some new words (some of which were really handy for reviewing Plastikman or whoever in under 150 words for Bang). I think the test is: if you still have to look the word up after encountering it a couple of times, it probably wasn't worth using.

Self's very obviously showing off, but only really in a bid to make life a bit more interesting. I didn't go to a posh school or Oxbridge, and I don't know anyone who did (barring the odd OTFer), but I reckon his style is so over the top it has to come from dictionary/thesaurus/arcane literature usage rather than any real-life culture. I don't find that alienating.

I've always understood pabulum to mean something akin to baby food: bland slop. (Our caterers at work are called Pabulum, a pretty bad choice.) "Moue" is basically "pout" with the advantage that you almost make a pout by saying it. I guess "declivity" uses one word where two will normally do ("downward slope") and avoids cliche, even if it is a bit clunky.

His parents must have run out of money at some stage, because although he started at University College School (which is indeed Eton Group), he ended up at a state school. Mine, in fact. He'd left by the time it went comp though.

Declivity is pretty useful to describe the slope of a road, path or ski run.

Will Self reminds me of MC Solaar incidentally (which considering Not Me comments about his pop ignorance is quite ironic...), they affect the same barrage of arcane vocabulary and verbal musings, both to good effect in my opinion.

I know all three words, but that might be because I've got a degree in French and classics. In spite of this, I find him very hard to read indeed.

Someone's aiming a book at my demographic is quite flattering.

I know all three words, but then I went to the same school as Will Self.

(Did I mention?)

So, I just met Will Self, after he gave a talk (and read from his new novel The Butt) in The Old Market, Hove.

Like a coward, I didn't have a go at him for his arcane vocabulary or his cultural snobbery, partly because he'd already fielded those issues in the Q&A session: someone asked him what pop music he likes (none), and the very first question was "Do you talk to your kids like that?" (which I thought was quite brilliant).

I mentioned that we're theoretically colleagues on the Independent, and he complimented me on my column, which was nice. ("You're not one of the conformists.") I got him to sign my copy of Junk Mail.

Tell you what, though. He's a real old ham when it comes to recitation, like a regional Shakespearean thesp. He's much more accomplished as a spontaneous public speaker, and stalks the stage with the confidence of a man who has a really big willy.

Oh, and he doesn't look that much like our Purv in the flesh...

Now I just need to look up 'palimpsest'.

I think the Carcass had one of those one the other day.

It's an old piece of writing over-written with a new one, kind of thing.

Aren't book readings really dull, though. I've only ever been to one (Alasdair Gray - who I figured was bound to peg it soon, but who's decided to paint an enormous ceiling for a few years instead - with Will Self and Ali Smith supporting) and it all felt a bit pointless and stiff really.

I mean, I've got a signed copy of Lanark now, but so what? It's not a souvenir of any great moment. I've also got "Darth Vadar"'s signature from when the cunt deigned to turn up in Norwich once. His breathing problems seemed to have cleared up, and he scrawled a cursory "D Var" on a post-it note for me like everyone else, before giving the costume back, signing on and fucking off down the pub, probably, the goth cunt.

I was impressed that Self had to bend double to read from the lecturn provieded, though.