It seems Olympic anticipation is yet to reach fever pitch on the forum.

I'm reminded of a pub conversation a few years back. We imagined the IOC beating the drug cheats by sending out letters of selection for all events to random citizens of each country three weeks before the Games are due to start. Which sporting discipline would you dread if the letter arrived?

My two were Rings in Gymnastics and any Butterfly swimming event. For the Rings I imagined Barry Davies commentating for the millions of viewers.

"Here comes the middle-aged Brit. He chalks his hands..... his coach lifts him up....he's hanging........still hanging there.......hmmm, there seems to be a bit of a trembly arm thing going on....still hanging, no he's down! Oh dear....."

Alternatively the sport I wouldn't mind getting called up for is Volleyball. Looks fun and, dare I say it, quite easy (if you're fairly tall).

If it was completely an utterly random I probably wouldn't embarass myself in the cycling. I'd be horribly petrified for everything else, but possibly most of all it would be the 10 foot diving board.

"Here's the portly Brit. He's standing on the platform. He's still standing there, and his legs look like jelly. He looks down, and looks even more nervous. He's been there for 4 minutes now. He shuts his eyes and walks off, like a condemned man..."

I think Rings is a good call. A highly specialized discipline that calls for ridiculous amounts of arm strength.

Most of the other sport, you'd have to figure "yeah, I'd have a go", since they aren't really things you couldn't do at all... ever... just stuff you couldn't do well.

I'd be a little nervous about Equestrian, mainly because it would seem to have the most opportunity for me to look like an idiot.

"And now, he's getting on the horse... and now, he's getting on the horse... and NOW, he's get... oh bloody hell... Now, he's up... no... And... oh god, don't grab there you fool... oh, the humanity!"

I do very well at sailing, and quite passably at cycling. Sadly, croquet is not an Olympic sport. I wouldn't much fancy synchronized swimming - grace, elegance, and phenomenal ability to hold one's breath are not among my strengths.


Are we counting the Winter Olympics? I snowboard pretty well, but there's no way in hell I'm doing the skeleton.

QUOTE:
"And now, he's getting on the horse... and now, he's getting on the horse... and NOW, he's get... oh bloody hell... Now, he's up... no... And... oh god, don't grab there you fool... oh, the humanity!"

Never mind the equestrian events, I'd be like that on the pommel horse in the gymnastics ...

The equestrianism is a good call. I think the gymnastics wouldn't be too bad because if all the athletes were picked at random then everyone else would be equally spectacularly inept.

Horseriding, though, is something lots of people can do, and even other novices have shown more infinitely grace than I have on the couple of occasions I've been on a horse, so I'd stand out like a sore thumb as a horrific embarassment against randomly selected people.

I'd also be distressed if I was selected for the Pole Vault......or Judo.......or the 3000m Steeplechase.