Right, so I'm about to put together my local non-shit newspaper (in which Taylor has written a glorious piece on Chris Needham), and I've got an interview with the Thompsons, two mad brothers who run a local greengrocers and who are quite renowned across the city. They're not twins, but they've got perms. The designer's mocked up an 80s-style record cover.

I'm in urgent need of a headline, but my powers are waning considerably in the face of other shit. Please help, OTF. Please.

Um, how about...

"They Know What It Means To Sell Spuds and These Greens"?

or

"Hold Me (carrots) Now"

Um, Here's To Fruit-ure Days? Not great, but I can't think of anything much better.

I rejected Into The Grape and Lay Your Brands On Me.

Could you go with a Tin Tin angle?

That's looking more like a possibility by the hour.

I was thinking of 'We Are Defective', but that's harsh. And doesn't really go.

Don't mess with grocers' dream?
You take veg up?

Hmmm, the Thompson Twins canon doesn't immediately lend itself to grocery-related punnery.

something tacky like 'Grocer, Grocer'?

"Old: Me Now"

It's a pity that it's one of the more obscure herbs, otherwise you could have had "In The Name Of Lovage" (or "Lovage On Your Side").

"Little Red Courgette"

That's by Prince.

'Sold Peas Now'