I picked up the Sunday Indy today. Can't get it at home - thought I would have a look, especially since now I can say I actually *know* an Indy writer (I'm an insider, me!).

So, read SR's column and utterly failed to catch a single reference or allusion in the whole piece. I don't think it's because anyone he's writing about is particularly avant-garde; I think I'm just too old and stupid and caught up in the mundanities of my profession to know the first thing about music anymore.

This is in no way a knock on SR - the communication gap is entirely on my end. I'm used to being made to feel unhip by my 11 year-old. But this was different. This was worse.

What has made you feel old and unhip lately?

Personally, I have never quite recovered from the 'I am now old' feeling gained when, two years ago, asking a class of young teenagers, 'Who's Luke Skywalker's father?', and, rather than them answering 'Darth Vader', like any self-respecting over-25-year-old, they all said 'Annakin'. Had to do a doubletake before I realised that they were much more familiar with the recent SW films than the old ones ...

It happens when youngsters call me "sir". Not in the polite as you're serving a customer sense, but in the attitude to old geezer sense. Still, at least they're respecting they're elders--erm, I guess.

When I went to a club in Liverpool last year.

I first went there 8 years ago and felt "part of it", last time I just felt awkward.

God, I'm the King Of Unhip, basically because there's almost some reference to an object/person/song/etc. that has me bamboozled on a daily basis. For instance, I was at work and the conversation around me got round to stating that a particular singer they were on about was okay, but 'she ain't no Leona Lewis'.

Who? A soul diva from America? An artist going solo?

Nope, eventually they told Muggins that it was an X-Factor entrant made good.

I'd never heard about her, and still remain oblivious to any of her subsequent achievements.

She's this year's Robson Green.

Simon Cowell will have found another one by next year. Anyone remember Will Young?

Anyone remember Will Young?

Yes, I do. Barely. And I find the belief in some circles that the shallow, vacuum-creating vessel that is Simon Cowell can be perceived to be a cultural overlord of maximum influence to be a fraudulent and depressing one.

Antonio Gramsci wrote:

QUOTE:
I picked up the Sunday Indy today. Can't get it at home - thought I would have a look, especially since now I can say I actually *know* an Indy writer (I'm an insider, me!).

So, read SR's column and utterly failed to catch a single reference or allusion in the whole piece. I don't think it's because anyone he's writing about is particularly avant-garde; I think I'm just too old and stupid and caught up in the mundanities of my profession to know the first thing about music anymore.

This is in no way a knock on SR - the communication gap is entirely on my end. I'm used to being made to feel unhip by my 11 year-old. But this was different. This was worse.

What has made you feel old and unhip lately?

Well, to be fair, you are Amer... um, Canad... um, North American, aren't you? And I was writing about two very new, up-and-coming British indie acts. So it's not surprising that you were a bit baffled, really.

I'm not sure whether it constitutes unhip, but my "I just wasn't made for these times" moment over the weekend was when I saw a programme scheduled called Celine and genuinely was surprised to find it was about Celine Dion and not Louis-Ferdinand Céline.

One sign you're unhip is speaking English correctly, none of this "I was like; Oh my god!!!!! Then they were like; Random!!!"

What is this word 'quality' (as in good), and when did the youngsters start using it?

People have been using "quality" like that for as long as I can remember, in That London.

The less I know about all these Cowell puppets, "up and coming" acts, fashion trends, TV show everybody's following, and what kind of dog is currently most popular among celeb's in Hollywood, the more hip I feel.

As a cool cat I usually dig the groovy scene, Daddy-O, but I do feel my age when I try to abbreviate words in text messages and get the codes so wrong that my youngers laugh at me. And then they laugh at me some more when I meticulously spell ever word correctly, except "l8er". And amusement gives way to pity when I point out that it is actually quicker to type the letters a and t than clicking furiously on the 8 key.

I have never experienced this feeling.