Do you raise your hand to your brow and say, "Good morning / afternoon Mr Magpie"?

No but I go 'one for sorrow, two for joy' etc. I only ever seem to see single magpies...

"One for sorrow, two for joy, three to get ready; now go, cat, go."

Lyra wrote:

QUOTE:
No but I go 'one for sorrow, two for joy' etc. I only ever seem to see single magpies...

In my experience, true sorrow follows only when you see eleven of the fuckers.

Oh I don't know.

We've a non-too shabby record down at Meadow Lane in recent years.

Were you watching CBeebies this morning, Guy?

Didn't we do this a couple of weeks ago?

I think it "Hello, Mr Magpie, how's your family?"
but I don't believe in superstitions.

They really are beautiful birds, probably my favourite and not at all responsible in the main for the disappearance of songbirds. That would be cats

Absolutely - it's a fucking disgraceful frame-up, that.

"Hello Mr Magpie, how is Mrs Magpie?"

I'm superstitious.

1. What do you think will happen if you don't say this?
2. Do you really think it'll happen? In the same sense as you think grass is green or Paris is the capital of France? Really?

In summer, the grass in my garden is brown. And isn't the capital of France Vichy?

Come,come, you can have a go at religions but let people have the freedom to think that magpies are the arbiters of evil (unless you ask after their nearest and dearest)

You will be questioning the wearing of lucky pants at football matches next.

Anyway, one thing that will happen if you do not ask these questions is that the magpie will view you as rude and it costs nothing to be polite.

Unless, of course, it is towards cats, the nocturnal-kitchen-table-fouling bastards

"Hello, Mr. Magpie. How are you? How's Mrs. Magpie? She all right? What? It was only a question. Yeah, I was only being polite. If that's your fucking attitude, you can shove it, mate. Yeah! You can fuck off an' all! What? What did you say? Lose my job tomorrow? Wife leaves me for another man? Fucking try it, you feathered bugger!

Look! Another magpie! That's good luck for me! Lottery win tomorrow, so in your face, you flighty twat! I'll be giving you the finger from my plush hotel room at the Hyatt! Ha, haaaaaa! Get out of that, you plume-arsed fucker!"

"Hello, Mr Magpie. What, you're a crow? All right, calm down, I'm not Bill fucking Oddie, you know. You're all just fucking birds to me. Now piss off. Ow. Stop that."