Garrincha. He'd just try and have sex with it. And he's demonstrated at the very highest level that if it got off the leash and started running around the field, he'd be useless at getting it back.

S'alright - good old Jimmy Greaves would nab it.

Bryan Robson.

He'd loosen his grip and the dog would run away. Afterward, he'd defend himself by saying the leash wasn't strong enough and he'd need more time to find a newer, stronger leash but would also need backing from someone to have money to buy a new leash. He'd also point out that the dog he'd nearly walked was a young, inexperienced dog who didn't walk the way he expected to (a bit wayward, no particular sense of direction) and would need an older dog who knew how to walk in a more sensible way and who knew more about where to fetch the stick when it was thrown.

Sure, he'd lost a few dogs by not gripping the leash tightly enough, but he'd not been given the right leash, the right dog and the necessary backing to acquire both. But Bryan's got the experience to walk dogs to a high level of success if given time and the right backing, and he's still on the lookout for any new dogs to be walked. He's been out of the dog-walking business for some time and, make no mistake, he's hungry for a new challenge.

Arsene Wenger.
It's not his fault that traditional English breeds lack the technical ability to walk in the way he believes dogs should be walked. And he refuses to pay the silly money people are asking for dogs of proven pedigree.
His preferred method is to identify the potential of young poodles, basenjis and galgos to walk in a fluent yet disciplined manner; however he will almost certainly be unsighted when they bite the postie or start a fight with next door's Manchester terrier.
(It's just ridiculous the way his dogs are treated by those Staffies and someone should do something about it.)